Langkah bendul

hari raya ke 4 @ 4 syawal haritu, adik aku bertunang dan akan melangsungkan perkahwinannya 22 Disember 2012 ni...
Aku? Sebenarnya sedih gak..terbungkam rasa...
Well, mak aku happy la dpt menantu cikgu....amboi2


Adik aku langkah bendul, tapi fmily laki wat bodoh je trmasuk adik aku skli...xde ape pun bagi sbg tanda hormat..main sukaati ko nk lgkah bndul..
kalau ikut adat, ada la kain ke, cincin ke apa kan..tapi..
haha..mmg bodoh dan kurang haja sekali...

Mak aku mmg xkisah pun...tu yang aku sedih gila tu...
dia lagi suka kalau org langkah bendul aku..ha3...
mak..mak....kdg2....aku ngan mak aku...
: something yg aku rasa.....psl mak aku..herm...mentang2 la ramai anak.....,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,frust pk knapa aku dipilih utk keluarga ni....frust! :

La' Tahzan

Waktu pagi begini, sesuatu terasa dingin, dalam hati sehingga ke akarnya, menyusai sapa namun aku tak mengerti kenapa.

Wajahku telah aku hadapkan pada MU
Sujudku, doa Ku Kepatuhanku dan Kepercayaan ku
Bila tangan melarik pena, rasa hati tidak mampu terbicara
Bila jari mengetuk-ngetuk kekunci..semua terdiam, rasa terbungkam..
Akukah makhluk tuhan yang keliru sehingga kini? kasih sayang tuhan telah dihujankan..
rahmat tuhan kepadaku tidak diperbataskan...pecahlah kekeliruan! tolaklah kenaifan!
Saban malam, saban siang, aku cuba tidak mempersia Ramadhan..
Aku baca kalimahMU, tafsirantafsiranMU..buat lena hati yang mendamba..
Sebab, Asbab,..hikmah...mahkluk Tuhan didatangi ujian
Antara firmannya ; Ketika kami berikan kesenangan, kamulah makhluk yamg berkata Tuhanku mempermudahkanku (menyayangi ku), ketika ditimpa kesusahan, Tuhanku telah menzalimi diriku, Mereka itulah orang-orang yang tidak beriman;
Mahukah aku jadi hamba terkutuk, sedang niatku ingin tawadhuk..

Tuhanku, kuatkan aku. Kuatkan jiwa wanitaku..Kuatkan rohaniku..jasmaniku..Sepertimana kebutuhanku sebagai hamba, disaat saat aku bingung, dan kekeliruan..

sebagaimana pena luh mahfuz mencatatkan peristiwa..

Surah Ad Dhuha..
Sebagaimana Pesan Imam Al-Ghazali untuk menyuruh bertabahlah hati..

kau nk suruh aku faham mcm mana lagi? 8 tahun dah aku faham.....sekarang masa untuk aku "tak nak" faham, sebab aku dah PENAT!

Serius aku xpaham..ngan adik2 aku.
baru abis belajar, belom pun  kje lg, da sebok tunjuk pkwe kt mak abah. aku? *sentap*
Makan tidoo pn masih ditanggung lagi, viva pun xsudah lg, sudah tunjuk itu nafsu syahwat..ntah apa2. For me, they dont have any mission in life. nampak brutal, independent, tapi teruk gila perangai. Haha..someone has crossed my bloody habit. And, Alhamdulillah makin aku matang, makin aku dewasa, keperluan membalas jasa mak bapak itu yg utama. Keperluan berjaya itu yang utama. Keperluan masa berkualiti dengan keluarga itu yang utama. I dont understand why some people dont see it. Esp: two of my sister. Sibuk ke hulu kehilir ngan boyfiee. Lagi manja wa cakap lu.
Dlu kemain ko la yg sebok meng-tweet, meng-FB bahawa cinta patut dtg time sepatutnya. Dahla kje pn belum, geli geleman aku tgk minah2 ala2 rock kapak cmtu 24/7 dgn bkn muhrim lagi.
iyewww.yucks!

They are so yucking in my throats!

How sad I am to be in this state. Yes I am really sad. I never thought it would end like this. We are having close relationship for about 8 years, and I just cant stand it anymore. The feeling is weird. I am totally independent, and he did nothing to help me.NOTHING. I am on my own. I am going everywhere on my own, eat on my own and faced my problems with my ownself. I was really upset with his financial level. First, second, third, forth and fifth years I was really blind. “forgive” with giving him chance by chance. And, sixth and seventh years, still try to forgive, trying to say to my ownself that give him another chance..and finally in the mid of eighth years..myself is like talking to me.until when?? You give him too many chances! You help him too much! You sacrifice everything! You give everything!from first, you help him. Financially, emotionally, -support--, but why cant he did the same as yours?

Damn! I feel like I can let it go now. He isn’t worth. The memories that we have together isnt worth at all. I am nobody to sacrifice everything until I die. I am not holy girlfriend that can do supergirl job to only help mr. boyfie. A have my limit..

Sedih. Nak menangis Cuma tak terkeluar. Siapa yang tak sayang perhubungan selama 8 tahun? Dah banyak sangat aku berkorban sampai aku fikir aku ni siapa?bukan malaikatnya yang serba serbi sempurna tapi aku sentiasa ada untuk dia. Kenapa dia tak pernah ada untuk aku? tak pernah sedikit pun ada..

(Allah sedang menguji hambanya)

comparison..

Always...

Love to tease Mr. Boyfie..But its the truth guys............

First , I like to compare his eyes with his teeth...they both got the same colour..Well, ex-smoker impact that what I can tell ya. kha..kha..kha...(Mr boyfie left his smoking world ever since he know me) that is why love him much! 13 years  bhai..13 years....who doesnt fall for him?)

Herm...biasanya kan perempuan kn? keh2..well. I am too skinny and he is super duper large, this comparison definitely void :p

doodle gift

I am inspired by some doodlist frens which using their talent to make PROFIT. its not that much, but well self actualization I guess...
here are some doodle commission that I made for October and November issues

This is key chain made for birthday present

 This key chain made for a lady rider

 and for a new born baby..Ahmad Thalha

This is for telematch programme that was hel in 12 Nov 2011

* I only accept order for more than 5...

22 october 2011

Remember...
a few years backs...everone, everybody remeber my birthday...
xcukup tangan utk membalas msg, dan menerima hadiah
tahun ini....hanya mr boyfie seorang dan juga ibu bapa dan adik beradik tersayang....
masa dulu telah berlalu...............