kau nk suruh aku faham mcm mana lagi? 8 tahun dah aku faham.....sekarang masa untuk aku "tak nak" faham, sebab aku dah PENAT!

Serius aku xpaham..ngan adik2 aku.
baru abis belajar, belom pun  kje lg, da sebok tunjuk pkwe kt mak abah. aku? *sentap*
Makan tidoo pn masih ditanggung lagi, viva pun xsudah lg, sudah tunjuk itu nafsu syahwat..ntah apa2. For me, they dont have any mission in life. nampak brutal, independent, tapi teruk gila perangai. Haha..someone has crossed my bloody habit. And, Alhamdulillah makin aku matang, makin aku dewasa, keperluan membalas jasa mak bapak itu yg utama. Keperluan berjaya itu yang utama. Keperluan masa berkualiti dengan keluarga itu yang utama. I dont understand why some people dont see it. Esp: two of my sister. Sibuk ke hulu kehilir ngan boyfiee. Lagi manja wa cakap lu.
Dlu kemain ko la yg sebok meng-tweet, meng-FB bahawa cinta patut dtg time sepatutnya. Dahla kje pn belum, geli geleman aku tgk minah2 ala2 rock kapak cmtu 24/7 dgn bkn muhrim lagi.
iyewww.yucks!

They are so yucking in my throats!

How sad I am to be in this state. Yes I am really sad. I never thought it would end like this. We are having close relationship for about 8 years, and I just cant stand it anymore. The feeling is weird. I am totally independent, and he did nothing to help me.NOTHING. I am on my own. I am going everywhere on my own, eat on my own and faced my problems with my ownself. I was really upset with his financial level. First, second, third, forth and fifth years I was really blind. “forgive” with giving him chance by chance. And, sixth and seventh years, still try to forgive, trying to say to my ownself that give him another chance..and finally in the mid of eighth years..myself is like talking to me.until when?? You give him too many chances! You help him too much! You sacrifice everything! You give everything!from first, you help him. Financially, emotionally, -support--, but why cant he did the same as yours?

Damn! I feel like I can let it go now. He isn’t worth. The memories that we have together isnt worth at all. I am nobody to sacrifice everything until I die. I am not holy girlfriend that can do supergirl job to only help mr. boyfie. A have my limit..

Sedih. Nak menangis Cuma tak terkeluar. Siapa yang tak sayang perhubungan selama 8 tahun? Dah banyak sangat aku berkorban sampai aku fikir aku ni siapa?bukan malaikatnya yang serba serbi sempurna tapi aku sentiasa ada untuk dia. Kenapa dia tak pernah ada untuk aku? tak pernah sedikit pun ada..

(Allah sedang menguji hambanya)